


I'll Love You Anyways.

by leatherandlace



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:32:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4046065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leatherandlace/pseuds/leatherandlace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma knew something was wrong, knew something was off with Regina. She just didn't know what. TW for ED. Oneshot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Love You Anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this story is a huge trigger for Eating Disorders. If you're triggered by that don't read. This story was written as kind of a therapy for me, and writing it was extremely hard, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. My apologies for any mistakes.
> 
> Follow my Tumblr: reginaswifesaywhat.

"Regina, aren't you hungry?" The brunette had gingerly put down her fork after eating only three measly bites of her favorite of Granny's salads--rabbit food, Emma always teased her. But other than this salad, Regina hasn't eaten anything else today. Emma was positive of this because she had had her lunch in the mayor's office, bent over some papers and furiously writing, and the woman had declined lunch. And also, Emma knew for a fact that Regina never had breakfast. 

"No, i'm fine." Regina replied with a clipped tone, giving Emma a tight smile. "How's your food, dear? You seem to be eating it so elegantly." The brunette laughed at her as she had monstrous bite stuffed in her mouth. Emma rolled her eyes at her friends constant sarcasm. 

"It's great, thanks. But you should eat more, you haven't had anything today." Emma nodded towards the plate. 

"I'm not feeling too well, Em." 

"Regina." 

"Emma." 

Emma sighed, knowing she had lost this battle. Regina had quite the talent of putting her foot down and being quite stubborn. 

"Well, if you feel better later make sure you eat something." Regina gave the woman a noncommittal hum, eyeing the clock above Emma's head. 

"Well, dear, it's getting late. I should get going." Regina abruptly stood up, laying a 20 on the check; she swept out of the diner without any hesitation nor warning, leaving a stunned and slightly concerned Emma sitting in the booth, cheeseburger still in hand. 

—

She plunged two fingers deep into her throat, curling upwards to hit the roof of her mouth. She gagged and quickly retracted her fingers, throwing up what little food she had for dinner. She could feel what little calories she consumed burning in her stomach, poisoning her, fattening her, and now it was gone. 

Emma had been concerned. She had almost found out. 

And now, curse her nonexistent ability to act normal around the blonde, the sheriff was probably even more worried due to Regina's spontaneous departure. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why couldn't she just be normal, the daughter her mother would've wanted her to be, the queen she was supposed to be, the mother, the friend, the person. But no. She was ugly and fat and stupid and utterly worthless, and she didn't deserve anything, let alone food that would keep her alive. She didn't deserve to live. 

—

After that one night at the Diner, Regina had been acting increasingly strange. Or maybe she had been acting like that for a while and Emma never told herself to look. But it was like she was...deteriorating. 

And Emma was sure it had to do with her appearance. 

Every day, Regina seemed to get thinner. Her  
cheekbones seemed to jut out, almost unhealthily. Dark bags circled under her eyes, accentuating the sinking holes in her cheeks and dark look in her eyes. The woman's clothes were baggy, even though they were the same size she'd always been. And lately Regina always seemed out of energy, as though even walking across the room took exponential energy. 

And now, as they were sitting together in Regina's office during lunch, Emma noticed another thing. 

She hadn't seen Regina eat in a while. 

Emma knew rationally that she couldn't supervise every meal the woman had, but something told her the brunette wasn't cooking herself lavish meals every night. Emma knew something was going on, and several red flags were going off in her head. 

"You going to eat anything?" Emma cautiously asked, knowing Regina was going to be bothered by the inquiry. 

Just as expected, Regina looked up from her papers and glared at the blonde, but the stare  didn't hold its usual hostility due to the extreme paleness and overall frailness of the woman. "I'm not hungry."

"Sure you're not. Here, why don't you take half of my grilled cheese." Emma offered, walking over to the desk to place the food next to the woman. Regina looked down at it with pure disgust. 

"You know I don't like grilled cheese." Regina whined. 

"Yeah, I know, but you should have some. You look like--"

"I look like what?!" Regina interrupted, her face turning into a scowl, "Do I look like I need more food? Because I assure you, I don't." She clamped her mouth shut, then looked down at her papers like the exchange never happened. 

The rest of lunch was quiet, and Emma left without a goodbye from Regina. 

—

Emma knocked on Regina's bedroom door, Granny's apple cinnamon pancakes in hand. Breakfast in bed was what Regina needed, just a little cheering up. 

"Regina, you in there?" Emma called, pausing a moment before quietly creaking the door open. 

Regina was still in bed, so Emma entered the bedroom and set the pancakes on the dresser. She knelt down beside Regina's bedside, running her hand over the woman's cheek in hopes to wake her up gently. 

But instead of the peaceful sleeping face Emma expected to caress, instead was a pale, sunken in demeanor that made the blonde very, very worried. Even more worried than before. 

"Regina, wake up." She whispered, rubbing lazy circles with her thumb across Regina's cheek. God, why was she so cold? She trailed her hand down the curve of the woman's throat, still in attempt to wake her up. Her fingers brushed over a sort of swelling under Regina's jaw, right near the back of her throat. Where did that come from?

Regina's eyes fluttered open, jumping at the sudden touch on her cheek and throat. "Emma?" She practically croaked, her voice surprisingly ragged. She sat upward, her head swimming with a sudden dizziness. She swayed, laying her face in her hands and quickly gathering herself. 

"Morning, 'Gina. I brought you pancakes." Emma smiled, gesturing to the food laying on the dresser next to her. Regina's eyes were glued to the food, her lips turned down in a noticeable grimace. 

"Thank you, but no thank you. I can't possibly eat right now, I just woke up. But I can drink that water." Regina grabbed the bottle next to plate and literally chugged the entire thing down, the cool liquid easing her sore throat and filling her stomach. 

"Regina, we need to talk," Emma crawled into the bed and laid down next to the woman, Regina comfortably scooting closer into the blonde's arms. Emma shivered at the cold touch of Regina's skin, "I'm...worried...about you." 

She stared at the brunette to gauge her reaction, but all Regina did was stare emotionless at the ceiling. However, when she spoke, her voice was quiet and precarious. "Why is that?"

"I think you know why." Emma looked leaned into Regina, pressing a light kiss to her temple. "You never eat anymore, and you look so...small, and you never have any energy."

"What are you insinuating, dear?" Regina tried to be hostile, but it was lost in the quiet crack in her voice. 

"Regina, I know you don't like admitting that you're not anything but fine, but please tell me: Have you been eating at all?" Emma turned the woman's face to look her in the eyes. A film of unshed tears covered her chocolate eyes, and Emma was filled with dread. 

"No, I haven't." Regina admitted, turning around to have her back face the blonde. She curled in on herself, and Emma could see her spine jutting out of her tank top.

"Hey, Regina, i'm not judging you. I just want you to be okay, and I want to know how bad it is so i can help you, alright?" No answer. "Hey, look at me, honey." 

Regina turned around, tears streaming down her sunken in cheeks. "You're not mad?" She sobbed, biting down on her lip to shut herself up. God, she was terrible and worthless. 

"Of course i'm not mad! Yes, I wish you weren't doing this to yourself, but I want to help, alright?" Regina nodded almost imperceptibly, but her trust was shown by snuggling closer to the blonde. 

"I love you, Regina. We're going to get through this. You're not alone, and you are perfect and beautiful to me." Emma whispered, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead, wiping away the tears that would eventually stop falling. 


End file.
